14. My art classes were good for me and bad for me as an artist.
When I was in college my major changed several times but I always had art classes. Most of the art classes I took were set up the same way. We sketched - did some specific assignments for about a week and then we had to bring in those works plus a sampling of any previous work. To give the professor a preview of what we did - who we were as artists. I don't remember the words said but always it was a form of rejection of my talent to out right brutally "honest" opinions that I did not have it as an artist.
One semester I took, another nude figure drawing class - as those were my favorite because I love drawing the form...curves, softness, roughness - so much to a body. I took this class however because I knew it was going to be a little different as the professor was an artist from NYC. I had seen his work and liked it. The university I went to owned a building downtown that they converted. It was one of those old brick buildings that had a lot of character and had probably been a textile mill or something of that nature. The first floor of the building was a gallery, second had about 5 or 6 studio classrooms and then the top 2 levels were studios and apartments for visiting artists. They could live and use the studios to work and show work with the condition of teaching an art class.
The start of his class was not different then any other. But this one still really stands out over all the others that told me I did not have talent. He was polite but basically said it was a hobby for me. He told me I probably would never sell anything (proved him wrong several times over by now). I had heard it over and over again. I always just gave it something - not enough really to me. But I didn't give up completely even with the comments. At the end of the semester for that class we had to do the same thing we bring in works from the class and anything outside of class we felt was significant. I arrived and he had long tables set up where I laid out each drawing. He got to the third drawing out of like fifty pieces. He looked ahead a little and then looked back at the 2 before and then again at the 3rd. He said, "I'm sorry." I said, "pardon?" I was so scared I did something wrong and he was going to fail me - as this was like a final for art. And he looked up at me and said, "I'm sorry....I should have spent more time with you."See what the art professors I came in contact with did use that first viewing at the beginning of the semester to pick out the the students they think have talent to work with them and push them more one on one. The others just get skipped over or glances with passing one or 2 word comments. That is what he did to me all semester.
So he looked over the final portfolio and explained to me that he saw something that I should explore more. He went on to explain where he should have been pushing me more. We talked about each piece. He wrote down lots of stuff for me to remember and learn from. He had me explain what I felt and thought. We had a wonderful conversation. He wrote up a letter to give to my next professor. He told what pieces to put in my next portfolio for my next class. And sat and talked to me about my art in a positive way.
All those that came before him said things horrible - things that could have stopped me from taking art....from making art. Of course I let it affect me but I didn't stop or give up. It slowed me down. I didn't always push myself at times because of the things said. But still I have had it in me...that passion for art. And if I had let the previous professors stop me I might never have gotten that chance to stand there with a professor and artist that saw something.
So I had this positive happen with my art...I needed to work full time so I could save for my wedding. So I had to quit school to work full time and never got my degree in art - yes by that year I was an art major. So I gave it up. I worked on my art here and there through the years but I never gave it what I should have or wanted to give it. Mostly fear stopped me of course. Fear and doubts in myself. I then came to be with Michael and he not only encouraged it but insisted on me pursuing it more. I still don't give it what I should but I am so grateful for all he has done to support and encourage this passion. And glad that I have been able to create.(top image: charcoal drawing from the class I talk about in post. just a rough sketch. middle image: mixed media on paper that I made for friends a few years ago - bottom image: mixed media on canvas that I did for my parents a few years ago)
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