I want to create but it never seems that I have the energy for it when I have the time for it. It is very frustrating. I was thinking about all the art I have seen in some friends studio as a stock pile ready for showings and such. And I just am not sure I have that time to get that together. I have a ton of stuff started. I just don't get the time to finish them or when I do have the time - my desire is to work on something new.
So I think about getting a stock pile up and making the time for it. And so I think oh in a month things will be better. I will make the time then. And a month comes and goes....2 months come and go...and nothing. And then I think about it again and it is in the midst of several work projects and or life just happens and my art aside is the first thing I put aside. Something that is so good for me, that I have such passion for and it is the thing I push aside. Really not very healthy of me.
But then of course I really examine my time....and see many times I could have done art and don't. And sometimes it is just energy. I just don't have the energy for it. But there are other times that I do and I don't create. Why? Because of fear still. I let that fear of creating stop me. And all the things that come with that.
A vicious circle.
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