The Bull...

In the China Shop



Acrylic paint on cardboard
9" x 12"
June 2005

Getting Back in the Saddle....

I have read several articles recently about how artists experience a greater amount of depression then others. And lately I have wondered if it is true....as I have been going through a kind of down period. I just sit and stare at the paper/canvas/whatever is in front of me and I can't let anything out. I go through thoughts filled with fear of "ruining" it, self doubt and a million other little negative thoughts. The longer it goes on the harder it is to start it back up again. This week marked the first time I picked up a paint brush and was not so worried that I was paralyzed by all the fears that go through my mind. It has been a while since I have been able to do that but it was time to get back in the saddle - so to speak. I told myself I can paint right back over it if it doesn't work out. I need to get back into that practice of saying "so what" - if it doesn't turn out exactly as I have it in my head.

I miss creating and it spins into other areas of life when I am not able too. I get grumpy and snap at Michael more when I haven't had good quality art time. And that is not fair to him so I need to get back to having that daily time to create no matter what comes out.

Right now my mind has been filled with 102 ideas and of course they all want out. And there is no way I am going to get them all right now. I started an art (paper) journal where I just do a quick sketch and write out ideas surrounding the concept so that day when I do have a creative block hopefully these little notes will help feed the creative process.

(side note: icon is by Alex Grey. I enjoy his work.)